Jay’s Blog

Living in Bermuda could bore you at times. Away from the lures of a big city full of adventures, entertainment and the fun of being in the hustle and bustle of the busy streets of a metropolis. So I was ecstatic to find out that I will be heading to London for a two-week business trip. Finally, I could go on a movie marathon and watch the best movies any cinema could offer. I could go around the city, hang out at Hyde Park, watch theater shows, dine out in various restaurants, people-watch on rush hours, shop until you drop, and bar hop at Leicester square which is actually pronounced as “Lester square”. Two weeks is definitely not enough to enjoy all these with full expenses paid for food and lodging. It couldn’t get any better than that.

During the third day of my stay in London, I received a text message from my wife. We previously agreed to cut down on weight and reward whoever loses most when I return from the big city. The text message went…”I don’t think I could go on with this competition. I’m pregnant”. It was at that moment when I started feeling my knee joints just crumbling and seemingly breaking into pieces. I wished I wasn’t standing at that time. My energy level just kept fading, my brain was no longer in control of my arms and my legs as they demonstrated involuntary erratic movement. I had no idea how much this kind of joy and happiness could lift up my spirits. I realized I was a father-to-be.

Suddenly, the shortest two weeks in my life, now appeared to be the longest and the most excruciating two weeks, well, minus the three days already spent. I wanted to and I needed to be with my wife and baby. It’s funny how we all perceive time. Two weeks can be short, yet it could be very long as well. Anyway, I saw myself day-dreaming many times. Really? I am going to be a father? It just hadn’t sunk in yet.

When I arrived back in Bermuda, I was all smiles. There was something that just wanted to overflow from me, and I knew that it was all joy, peace, love, and excitement. Now, I begin to look at my wife differently. I cherish her all the more. Every single thing that I do for her makes sense. I am motivated to cook, clean the house, wash the dishes, wash our clothes, walk slow with her – things that did not always make me excited before, now makes me so eager to do them. Every time I looked at her, I knew she was the woman that I fell in-love with. The one I asked the Lord to come back to me after a three-year break-up in College. Even when she started gaining weight for the baby, she’s getting sexier and more beautiful. Even when she became more fragile and irritable, she’s getting lovelier and sweeter in my eyes. I stare at her when she’s asleep, and thank the Lord for the immense blessing He gave me. A loving wife, and a child soon to be a great servant of the Lord. I knew I was so much in-love again. Full of life, full of inspiration. There ought to be a lot of fathers and fathers-to-be out there who never had the chance to explain or express to their wives or anyone else, how happy and full of love they are to their wives amidst the occasional and unavoidable petty yet funny arguments. Allow me to represent them. This is how a father-to-be feels like.

Then I remembered the Lord. This is exactly how He loves me. Even more. The moment we accept Him as our Father, He becomes excited, joyful, and ecstatic. He is willing to do everything for us, He even sacrificed His only begotten son. I realized how tremendous this Love is for us. How then should we respond to this unconditional Love that we are receiving each day? Just like a child in a mother’s womb, I knew I have to cling to the Lord, depend on Him, trust in Him and receive His strength. After all, we are all still at the womb of our creator. It was soothing to know how much God Loves us. I know that my Love for my wife and baby is only a glimpse of that Divine Love. A glimpse which I will cherish forever with all the joy of being a father-to-be.